I’m here! I’m sitting in a Starbucks in St. Pancras international, where I will catch a train to Paris in about 4 hours.

First Impressions:

Heathrow is like a MAZE, man. I felt like I really deserved a piece of fucking CHEESE after navigating that. Except I didn’t navigate it. I had people.

Seriously, mobility assistance ROCKS. I was going to have Tasha help me get my baggage to check in, and then muddle through security, and I had barely gotten out of the truck when a skycap appeared from not my airline, summoned one for my airline, who got my baggage in, and then had the counter guy call a wheelchair (and he also upgraded my seat to more legroom with the aisle on the correct side), who got me through security (and for real, I could NOT have managed that on my own without causing A Scene and Making Everyone Mad) and then I was the first one on the plane. Once I got to Heathrow, there was a wheelchair waiting for me, who took me to the Special Assistance Holding Area, and then another wheelchair took me to Immigration control, where I went :O and thanked GOD that I didn’t have to stand in that huge ass line. I’d still be there, for real. THEN my wheelchair driver summoned a porter, they collected my bags, and that was that. less than an hour from getting off the plane to leaving the airport. I was thinking I’d take the Heathrow Express to Paddington and then take a cab from there to St. Pancras, but I decided instead to throw money at the problem and took a black cab all the way.

The fact that the cars are on the wrong sound of the road freaked me out less than expected. The fact that the rotaries (roundabouts, whatever) go the WRONG WAY freaked me out way more than expected. (yes, I know why they do, but IT WAS WRONG AND CLEARLY ABOUT TO CAUSE DEATH, okay?)

So that’s what I got right now.